These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
