Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
