you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Randomize
