im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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