White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
