i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
