Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
