i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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