Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
