can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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