it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
