I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
