I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
handjob tips. give me some.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
