Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize