oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
