and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
