That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
