shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
