porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
