We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
