He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
