you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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