i permit you to call me
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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