I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
