how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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