Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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