its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
