I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
