Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.

(917): View more from New York City

dollar well spent

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(301): View more from Maryland

Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.

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(618): View more from Illinois

In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.

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(619): View more from California

I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.

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(440): View more from Ohio

The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.

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(734): View more from Michigan

He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.

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(504): View more from Louisiana

That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.

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(613): View more from Ontario

do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?

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(417): View more from Missouri

Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.

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