Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize