just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
