its not stalking. its research.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
do herpes really smell.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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