I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
