have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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