is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
