I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize
