did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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