if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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