She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
