Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
