carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
