Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
