The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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