thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i dont even know how to be here
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
