Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
