She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
