I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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