somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize