he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
