Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
