I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
