I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
