Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
