She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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