best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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