sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
What drink are we having for lunch?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
