I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
