My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
