would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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