remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
