I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I stole a fireplace last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize