I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
