I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
