Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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