yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
if i can run in heels then i can drive
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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