Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
